Penance
by fredj291
Summary: Reylo. Kylo Rens struggle with being a failure at both being a jedi and a sith. And, a third facet of the force. Rey agrees to be Ren's student
1. Chapter 1

_AN: star wars and all mentioned characters do not belong to me and I make no profit off of them._ Wrote this at work yesterday and I'm not sure if I like it yet. I have a few ideas so it will be continuing for a while. The jedi code has always puzzled me. It paints them as a sort of selfless nomadic group. Your choices are either no emotion or evil. The force almost sounds like a curse. This story will center around a third force teaching where you can be a force user and still be yourself.

* * *

When Kylo Ren roused from unconsciousness he became aware of three things; That this was not his ship, that he was chained to the chair he sat in, and that his helmet was resting heavily against his head, putting a strain on his neck. Even so, he sat completely still and reached out with the force to try to gain his bearings. He was not completely surprised when the door opened and she sat down across from him. They sat in silence for a few seconds and he was reminded of the young resistance pilot he had captured. 'Who talks first? You talk first? I talk first?'

Thankfully she broke the silence. "Are you comfortable?" She repeated his question from many months ago.

"These restraints are insufficient to contain me."

"They might give me a second or two. That's all I could really hope for."

He shrugged and they fell back into awkward silence.

"An unmarked freighter with only you on board, what did the resistance hope to gain from this mission?"

"That's none of your concern."

"We're not at hyper speed, are you waiting for a rendezvous or are we just wandering aimlessly?"

She tensed and avoided his eyes. "This isn't a resistance sanctioned mission."

"Then what is the reason for my capture?"

"Can't it just be a happy accident? I didn't come looking for you, but here you are."

"Why didn't you remove my helmet?"

He felt her emotions flare up at the question and was a little offended at her aversion to his face.

"You're the same person without it, it makes no difference."

"You and I both know that's not true."

She ignored hie comment and looked down at his shackled hands. "Why haven't you tried to escape?"

"If you were going to kill me you would have done it already. For now, I'm content where I am."

She nodded and picked at a speck on the table between them. "They didn't have a funeral for him. It's assumed that his body was destroyed with the rest of the base."

Ren clenched his fists and sat up straighter. "And my mo- The general? How is she?"

"You almost sound like you care. Like everything that happened isn't your fault."

"You wouldn't understand. Is she okay?"

"No. But she's good at pretending."

"And Skywalker? I assume that since you're here you didn't find him."

She stood up and turned her back to him, moving her hand down to where the lightsaber was hanging from her belt. "I found him."

He frowned in confusion behind his mask. "He rejected you didn't he? That's why we're not at light speed back to the resistance base. You need a teacher."

She nodded once. "I need a teacher."

He pulled his hands towards himself until the chain pulled taut "My mask. Please."

She kept her eyes down but stepped behind him and ran her hands over the smooth surface covering his head until she found the two small bumps by his ears. After the hisses and clicks she removed the helmet from his head but took care not to actually touch him.

"Sit" he nodded to her chair. "What did he say?"

She was more than a little put off at his new found interest but did as he requested. "All he said was that the jedi life was not for me.

Ren scoffed. "The jedi life isn't for anyone."

"What is that supposed to mean? Just because you couldn't do it-"

"Because I'm not a droid! Because I actually want to feel something! That's not wrong."

She jumped back at his outburst expecting to see rage but instead seeing the frustration of an argument he'd obviously had many times before.

"Jedi are heroes."

"Jedi are banthas! They are made to feel nothing! The important things in life, love, family, passion, they are all forbidden."

"Maybe the life is for me" she mumbled "It's not like I have those anyway."

"And are you happy with your life?"

"Are you?"

He glared at her for several seconds then slammed his fists down on the table. "My uncle made his students repeat the jedi code over and over again. The first line: There is is no emotion, there is peace. What good is peace without emotions? You can't feel pride over your victory, you can't feel relief that the fighting has stopped, you can't feel grief for your fallen. No emotion, no ignorance, no passion. War means nothing. Peace means nothing. Death means nothing."

She stared at him in shock for a few seconds. "And the sith?"

"If the jedi numb you, the sith light you on fire. Their mantra is: peace is a lie, there is only passion. That has not been my experience. They trade passion for pain. To be with the sith is to be in agony every second of every day."

"And that's better?"

"Yes! No!" He laid his head on the table as if the conversation was exhausting him.

"If not, then why do you aspire to be as powerful as Darth Vader?"

"As strong as him, not as powerful. My uncle will tell you that in his last minutes Vader was redeemed, but he wasn't, not truly. He overthrew his master to save his family, that goes against the rules of the jedi. I want to be strong enough to decide for myself how I use the force. I want to start a teaching where it's possible to use the force and be happy."

"Why can't you?"

"If I defected from the empire I would be as good as dead. They would hunt me to the ends of the galaxy, and any resistance who found me would shoot on sight."

"Your mother would take you back. Even now she begs the force to bring you home."

"I can't go back. My destiny is to suffer, we all know it."

"It doesn't have to be. Teach me."

"Weren't you listening? The force is more trouble than it's worth."

"Then teach me your way. Think about it, the only know force users in the galaxy are the two of us and our would be masters. This is your chance to be as strong as Vader. Teach me."


	2. Chapter 2

AN: couple of things, since Rey thought the force was a myth there have probably been a lot of stories and rumors about it. That's what I based the powers she requested to learn on. Also, does anyone have a preference on romantic, sibling, or platonic Reylo? At this point I can go any way.

* * *

"No"

"No?"

"This isn't a joke. This isn't just-" he pounded his fists on the table frustratedly. "Even when you're not in my head, you're in my head. Iv'e never told anyone about that before. Never. You can't just jump on the bandwagon because my uncle said no. Go back to the resistance. Or better yet, go find some outer rim planet and enjoy the rest of your life. Forget about the force."

"Could you have done that? The force calls to us, you know it does. It's not something you can run from."

"I can't be a teacher. I thought I could, but I can't."

"You can't teach or you can't teach me?"

"Does it make a difference?"

"So it is about me."

"You're too old to begin training."

She rolled her eyes. "Is it because of this?" She points to his helmet. "Or that?" She points to the scar across his face.

"Do you still want to kill me?" She gave him an affronted look. "Last time we were in a situation like this, you very much wanted to kill me. What changed?"

"I- nothing. The things you've done are unforgivable."

"So you do want to kill me?"

"No. I don't know."

"Do you trust me?"

"No" She answered quickly.

"How am I supposed to be your master if you don't trust me?"

"You are not my master!"

He jumped before sighing in realization. "They still have slave trade on Jakku. You were..?"

She glared at him darkly. "Don't. I'm warning you."

"I have nothing but respect for slaves."

"You don't know anything about them."

"More than you might think. Go ahead, look." He gestured to his forehead.

"I understand if you don't want to train me, but i wont have you making a mockery of my-"

"Your?" He interupted "So you were."

"Not for a long time and never again. Not to you, not to anyone else."

"I wasn't mocking you. Vader was a slave as a child. I really do have the utmost respect for them." She nodded in acceptance. "So what would you prefer instead?"

"Prefer?"

"Instead of master. What would you refer to me as?"

"Have you changed your mind?"

"No, I'm just curious." She scowled and he turned his mouth up in an expectant smirk.

"How about 'I've already beaten you once so you don't get a title'?"

He grinned "That's kind of long."

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Laugh, joke around like a normal person."

"I'm not evil."

"I know that. That just makes you more scary."

"You're afraid of me?"

"Terrified. I had nightmares about you for weeks after Starkiller."

"Honestly, I did too. Some about me, some about my father, and some about you. Do you think you would have killed me?"

"I don't want to. But I did hope you had died from your injuries."

"I would have killed you."

"I know" she said without judgement.

"Why do you belive me about my new teaching? I would have thought you of all people would laugh in my face."

"Why do you wear a mask?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question."

"Because Vader did. That should be obvious."

"Because Ben Solo is a bad liar. The mask, the voice, they make you more believable. Without them you're not that hard to read."

"Then you know how serious I am about this. Some days this is the only thing that keeps me from turning my blade on myself."

"I believe you. This isn't as crazy as it sound. It doesn't have to be a bad thing."

"You don't understand, one day if we are extremely lucky we may be accepted again. Until then, we will both be branded as traitiors."

"Does that mean you've changed your mind?" She tried to contain her excitement.

"Stop and actually think about this. You would have to give up your friends, at least temporarily. The stormtrooper, the pilot, my mother. Can you do that?"

"This is right. Don't tell me you don't feel it too. The force wants this to happen. Everything will work out."

"I've been defying the force for a long time now. I don't have to stop now."

"You're going to die out there. Not Ben Solo the jedi, not Kylo Ren the sith, you, the real you. You know it's true."

"Fine"

"You can't just keep- Wait, what? Fine?"

"Yes, fine. I have nothing to lose right? Worst case scenario, I die either way." Her face stayed blank but he could feel the emotions exploding inside her. "Second thought?" He asked nervously.

"Teach me something. Anything. I want to learn something now."

"Meditation usually comes first."

"No, teach me something good, something fun." Teach me to breathe fire or talk to animals."

He raised an eyebrow "...right. How about we start by unlocking these chains and then we do some meditation." She groaned and pulled the key out of her pocket. "Give it here." He held his hand out.

"No."

"You want a lesson? Give it here." She reluctantly droped the key into his hand. "Now take it back." She reached her hand out to grab it again. "No" he closed his fist "No hands. You've done this before, I've seen you. Clear your mind of anything but the key and call it to you." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and unsurprisingly, the key flew into her hand.

"I did it! Ha! I actually did it! Did you see that!?"

He grinned at how her joy made her look almost childlike. "I would celebrate with you, but I'm still chained to the table."

"Oh, right, sorry."

Things grew much more tense once he was uncuffed. They stared at each other, neither sure if their semi-truce would continue now that they were both free.

"Nice work on your force pull."

"Yeah, thanks."

"Do you want me to put the cuffs back on?"

"Huh?"

"Are you afraid? I wasn't lying. If you were serious, I would like to be your teacher."

She nodded slowly. "No lightsaber and no helmet."

"Those terms are acceptable. I don't need them you know, to kill you. If that's what you were worried about."

She would have been afraid if the words had been spoken with any malice at all. "You had them last time and they didn't help you much."

"Big words for a padawan." He smiled, and for the first time in a long time he thought his future might not be totally miserable.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: so an overwhelming amount of requests for romantic Reylo, thanks for the responses. Also, I'm a little surprised at the acceptance of the dialog style. I thought you guys might get bored of just talking. I'm not totally sure about this chapter. Something just bugs me when I read it. Anywhoo, should have another chapter up tomorrow.

* * *

"Would you be quiet?"

"I didn't say anything."

"Maybe not out loud, but your mind wont shut up. If you say one more thing about how boring this is I'll- do something you wont like."

"All we've done is meditate for three days now. You wont even let me leave the ship. When do I actually get to learn something?"

He closed his eyes tighter. "You could learn how to be quiet so I can concentrate."

"What answers are you looking for anyway? Maybe you could try asking an actual person."

"I'm not looking for the answers to simple trivia, I need guidance."

"What's the worst that could happen if you just talked to me?"

He frowned and let out a heavy sigh. "The jedi and sith have been around for thousands of years, they've perfected training methods. My teaching, if you could call it that, is less than a week old."

"You don't know what you're doing."

"I don't know what I'm doing. It doesn't even have a name or a creed, how am I supposed to teach it?"

"Maybe you should take a break." He brushed her off and closed his eyes again. "I'm serious. Rejection of ignorance is a jedi teaching, right? It's okay for you to not have all the answers. Come outside with me. This is supposed to be about being happy right? It's hard to be happy stuck inside this room in silence."

"You can't just learn the force by having fun."

"Why not?"

"Because-"

"Because? It can't hurt, right? If it doesn't work we can always come back here and do some more boring meditation."

"Meditation is important. It's not just something you can brush off."

"I'll get it, relax. I'm just getting a little claustrophobic being stuck in here."

"I've met younglings with more patience than you."

"That's nice, get up." She grabbed his hand and heaved him to his feet.

"I can stand up without you holding my hand."

She chuckled softly.

"What?"

"Nothing, don't worry. It's just, in a lot of ways you and I aren't so different."

"I don't know if I should feel complimented or insulted."

She rolled her eyes. "Lets go before I hold you hand again."

"Fine, fine. Go get my helmet and I'll be ready."

"What? No. We agreed, no helmet."

"I can't go out there like this." He brought his hand up to his face. "I look..."

"Fine. You look fine. No one will say anything about it. This is a happy trip, remember? We're going to go out there and find something on that planet that makes us happy, I'm going to learn a great lesson, and then we're going to come back here and feel accomplished, got it?"

"I thought I was supposed to be the one who gave the pep talks."

"You were being slow as usual."

He huffed and opened the loading ramp, walking down cautiously.

"You look like you're expecting a firing squad. There's no one here." He looked around and saw that she was correct. They had landed in a field of tall grass. "The city should be on the other side of that hill."

"We're not going to the city. No one sees us if we can help it. There will already be a bounty on my head and I don't want anyone to know that you're with me."

"Trying to protect me? Be careful, someone might start thinking you have feelings."

"I don't think you understand. Having you believe in this teaching, training you, you are the single most important person I have ever had in my life. I don't have feelings for you, I don't even particularly like you, but I would die for you with no regrets."

She looked down at her feet awkwardly. "Thanks I guess. I will try my best not to let that happen."

"I would appreciate that. Are you okay? You look like I've made you uncomfortable."

"No, no, I'm fine. I just have one more thing to add to the list of things I don't understand about you."

"You're keeping a list?"

"I was. It got too long to manage."

He laughed and nodded. "I'm sure. Last time I presumed to understand you, you kind of" he gestured to his scar "convinced me to stop trying."

They fell into an easy silence, neither wanting to take a joke too far on topics that were obviously not a laughing matter."

"So" he said after a minute, "lunch first or lesson?"

"Oh, um, it doesn't matter to me. You can pick."

"Seriously? You've been nagging me all day for a lesson and now you're okay with waiting?"

"Sorry. I was just thinking about stuff."

"So meditating, now? You make everything difficult. Go ahead, I'll get everything set up."

The next time Rey opened her eyes she saw him sitting on a box a few yards away, holding his helmet and her staff. She jumped up and stormed over.

"What are you doing with that? You're not putting that on."

"I wasn't planning on it. You are."

The thought made her physically recoil. "I most certainly am not."

"Do you trust me?" She stayed silent and he considered that a great improvement from the hard and fast 'no' he had gotten three days ago. "It's not rigged to explode, it doesn't have a homing device, it's just a helmet. This will be fun, trust me."

She frowned and took the helmet. "I'm not happy about this."

"If you think you're not happy now" he mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing" he smirked.

"What's in the box?"

"It was on your ship, shouldn't you know?"

"I traded for the ship as is. I didn't really look through it."

"Remind me to lecture you on how stupid that was later. For now, put on the helmet."

"Look me in the eye and tell me that you're not going to kill me."

"I'm not going to kill you. And if you're lucky, neither will the contents of the box. Kidding, the box is harmless."

She put the helmet on and tensed, waiting for something awful to happen.

"Well?"

"It's heavy." She cringed as she heard her voice go through the sound filters in the mask.

"You wont be wearing it very long. This next part you might not like, but take a deep breath and think fun." He pushed a button that activated blast shield filters on the mask.

"What did you do? I can't see anything."

"You're fine, relax." He pushed her staff into her hands. "Hit anything you feel coming toward you."

"You're going to hit me with something?"

"That's totally up to you." He opened the box and took a few steps back.

She heard the splat before the impact and looked down even though she knew she wouldn't be able to see anything. "It's wet and sticky, tell me you aren't hitting me with some kind of insect."

"Gamju plums, your cargo bay is full of them."

"You're hitting me with fruit?"

"I wouldn't be if you would block them."

She felt an impact against the side of the helmet. "How exactly is this fun?"

"I'm having loads of fun."

"Then why don't I throw things at you?"

"Because I already know how to block." She growled in frustration and felt another impact against her back. "Stop thinking with your eyes, they were taken from you for a reason."

She reached out with the force and it was almost like she could physically see the next one coming, over her left shoulder. She pivoted on her heel and felt it fly past her.

"We're not eating until you hit one of them."

She dodged a few more, waiting for the perfect throw. When she felt it, she swung and drove the fruit back at him. Hearing it hit its mark, she took off the helmet and smiled. "Happy? Now lets eat."


	4. Chapter 4

AN: this is what happens when people say things are cute. I blame you guys. Seriously though, the great thing about writing just dialogue is that I have no idea where it's going to go. I didn't plan this. Side note, music is my muse, awesome points to anyone who wants to recommend a song or two. See you tomorrow. Same bat time, same bat channel.

* * *

"So he still can't see, right? Totally blind, and he turns around and hits Boba Fetts jetpack with his staff and sends him into the sarlac pit. And that was the last of the clones."

"Hold on. you're telling me that a fanged sand pit ate the greatest bounty hunter the galaxy has ever known and that's why there are stormtroopers?"

"I wasn't there, but that's what I've always been told. The academies tell the story a little differently, but the important parts are the same."

"Tell me another one. Tell me a story about you."

"Don't you think we should train some more?"

"Oh no, you're not getting out of this that easy. I'm full, sticky, and enjoying the grass. I'm not moving. Tell me a story. Make it a good one. One most people don't know."

"Okay, um, when I was fourteen I became particularly obsessed with my right hand."

She sat up quickly. "That is not the kind of secret story I was asking for."

"What? Oh! No! It's not that story."

"That story? You actually have a story about that?"

"No! Just let me tell it. Both my grandfather and my uncle have had their right hand cut off. My uncle was actually holding your lightsaber at the time. I would wake up in the middle of the night and my arm would be totally numb. I was convinced that it was an omen. That I was being warned that my hands days were numbered."

"And? Were they?"

"That's a different story entirely."

"What? You're not going to tell me?"

"Not today. Your turn. Tell me a story about you."

"You already know about me. Abandoned, slave, freed, scavenger, Finn, Han, you. That's been my whole life."

"You have to have at least one good story. What did you do for fun on Jakku?"

"I didn't do much. I wanted to be ready when my family came back for me."

"You didn't give up? Even after all that time?"

"I knew they weren't coming back, but lying to myself was easier than accepting that they were either dead or that they didn't want me. They were what kept me going."

"They weren't keeping you going, they were holding you back. How much of your life did you waste in denial."

"You don't get to preach to me about family. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I? My parents shipped me off the same as yours. Don't think you're the only one who knows what abandonment feels like."

"It's not the same. Your parents were trying to help you. They loved you."

"You have no idea. I saw it in your head, you wished that my father would have been your father, and maybe he would have been a better father to you. Maybe it's all my fault."

"Well now we'll never know."

"You shut up! Don't ever talk about that!"

"Why did you do it? He believed you. He thought you were going to come back with him."

"Stop talking! I had to do it!"

"You had to kill your father in cold blood?"

"The dark side demanded a sacrifice. I didn't want to do it, but the light side was calling me back."

"But he was your father."

"I know!" He held his hand out and summoned the lightsaber on her belt and ignited it. She watched, frozen in fear as he slammed it into the ground repeatedly, sending patches of grass and dirt flying. Finally, he plunged the lightsaber into the ground and collapsed next to it. "My father is dead. I killed him. He didn't even get a funeral. He needs a funeral. Do you have anything of his? Anything." She jerked, startled to be acknowledged by him. She looked up to the hill, trying to estimate is she could alert the people of the city that they were there before he could reach her. "I'm not going to hurt you, I wont even touch you, but I need to give him a proper funeral. Please."

"I have his blaster. Will that work?"

"That's perfect. Wil you go get it?"

She walked back into the freighter, never turning her back on him and grabbed the blaster, holding it carefully, but also ready to fire. She inched up behind him, not wanting to come within lightsaber distance.

"Are you going to shoot me?"

"I'm thinking about it."

"I wouldn't stop you."

"He wouldn't have wanted you dead. He wanted you to be happy again."

"It doesn't matter what he wanted, he's dead. I murdered him."

"I wont kill you. Not until after the funeral at least. You're right, he deserves this." She got down on her knees and placed the blaster in front of him. "Do you want me to dig the hole?"

"No. I have to do it."

It was surreal for Rey to see the person she had feared for months crying and digging in the dirt with his hands. "He wasn't ashamed of you. Even at the end, he just wanted the best for you."

"I know. He wasn't the best father, but he would do it all again if I asked him to." He pulled his hands out of the dirt and rubbed them on his pants. "I should say something, right? What do I say?"

"Just say goodbye."

He picked up the blaster. "I love you dad. I'm so sorry. It wasn't for nothing though. I left the sith, I'm working on being truly happy, you did that. I'll miss you." He pointed the blaster in the air and pulled the trigger once. "Do you want to say something?"

"No, this needs to be for you. You did good."

He laid the blaster in the hole and smoothed dirt over it. "Goodbye dad."

"What do you think happens to hime now? Does he become one with the force?"

"I don't know. Maybe he just becomes part of space. He would like that."

"Do you want me to leave you alone for a while?"

"No. Grab the lightsaber, we're leaving."

She stood and pulled it out of the ground. "What about your helmet?"

"Leave it. I wont be needing it anymore."

"So what's the plan now?"

"Now you tell me the location of the resistance base."

"What for?"

"There are some people I need to take to. It's time I made a trip home."


	5. Chapter 5

AN: so it's been a while. I hope you guys are having a better new year than I am. I know no one cares for excuses but I have had a less than great week. Between being stuck in a prison lock down (yep, I work at a prison) and my dad having a seizure, Reylo had to be put on the back burner. Fingers crossed that I can get back to regular updates now.

* * *

"Are you crazy? Do you know what they'll do to you?"

"I need to pay for my crimes."

"And you think just walking on to the base is the way to do that?"

"I need to tell my mother that I've left the sith."

"And then what? They wont just let you leave."

"I'll need you to speak to them on my behalf.

"You want me to vouch for you? What am I supposed to say?"

"I don't care. Convince them not to kill me."

"I only knew you for a few hours before I wanted to kill you, some of them have been fighting you for years. Nothing I say is going to change that."

"But they trust you. They'll at least consider what you say. Tell them I can be valuable. I can give them pass codes, blueprints, base locations, whatever they need."

"Or you could be planning to kill them all. Even if I gave you the base location and they decided not to kill you, you would still be thrown in prison."

"But you can see my intentions. Look into my mind again."

"I don't know how. Last time I was just trying to push you out."

"Then we'll do it that way again. I don't have time to teach you properly right now, but if you let me enter your mind, that should give you a lead back into mine."

"Will it hurt?"

"Not if you don't resist. It only hurts if I have to break into your mind. If you leave it open, it might actually feel nice."

"Nice?"

"Think about it. Your mind is your most secret place, letting someone in is the most personal thing you can do. Even more than...you know."

"Well this isn't going to be like that. As soon as I see your intentions, I'm cutting it off."

"If you doubted my intentions you wouldn't let me in in the first place. You trust me."

"I believe that you are honest about wanting to change."

"Then I'm so sorry." He pushed into her mind and dug through until he found what he needed. "The Ileenium system?"

She tried to push back into his mind and he cut the connection. "You lied to me!"

"Before you could lie to me. You never would have told me where the base was."

"Because I don't want you to die!"

"Don't act so noble, you don't care about me. If you had another teacher you would be happy with whatever happened to me."

"That's not true. A week ago maybe, but not now. I have no delusions that you and I will ever be friends, but you need me as much as I need you. We need to make a truce."

"A truce? You sure are resilient in your insanity. Does that mean you'll help me?"

"There's nothing I could do to make you change your mind?"

"I need to do this for my mother like the funeral for my father. She probably wont believe me but I need to tell her that I'm sorry and that I'm trying to work things out. After that we can find a way to escape. I don't plan to abandoning your training, nor do I plan on dying here."

"I'll help you, but yo follow my lead and do exactly what I say."

"That's fine. As long as I get to speak to my mother, anything else is at your discretion."

She nodded and sat in the pilot's chair, punching them into hyperspeed. "Are you nervous to see her?"

"There's no need. I don't expect her to accept me back."

"She'll be happy to see you."

"Maybe for a second before she remembers what I've done."

"You might surprised." She pulled a lever and they dropped out of hyperspeed. "I'm serious though, you stay here and be quiet until I call you." She approached the planet and heard a voice over the intercom.

"State your name and reason for landing request."

"Poe? It's me, Rey."

"Rey? What are you doing in a ship like that? It's so..."

"Practical?"

"That's being generous."

"I need a meeting with the General. Tell her I'm carrying precious cargo."

"Sure thing. Landing bay six is open, I'll have her meet you down there."

"Thanks Poe." The intercom clicked off. "He's a pilot. The best they have."

"We've me."

"Right, of course."

"And he's better than you know. Truly impressive."

"I'll be sure to pass that along." She landed on the pad and dropped the ramp. "Still time to back out."

"Just try not to say anything that will make her mad."

She nodded and stood, grabbing her bag out of a storage compartment and walked down the ramp. "General Organa."

"Rey, how have your travels been?"

She avoided the older womans eyes. "Quite interesting, especially lately. We'll have to catch up."

"what's wrong? You seem nervous. Is it the cargo I was told about?"

"It may be a bit upsetting." She reached into her bag and pulled out a lightsaber.

"It's Bens isn't it? Is he dead?"

"Yes, but no. It is his, but he's not dead."

"Then how did you get it?"

"He gave it to me. He doesn't want it anymore."

"You've spoken to him?"

"Yes... a few times actually. He's been training me."

"You've been with him? Are you okay? How did you get away?"

"I'm fine, more or less, but I didn't exactly get away."

She looked up to the freighter and her eyes widened. "He's here? You brought him here?"

"General, wait-" But Rey could tell that she was no longer listening.

Leia pulled out a comlink. "This is General Organa, Kylo Ren is on the base. Enable lockdown procedures and all personnel to battle stations."

"No, General, you don't need to do that. He's alone here, he doesn't want to fight."

"What were you thinking? You brought a known enemy of the resistance to our base, do you realize the danger you've put us in?"

"He's not in contact with the first order anymore, he just wants to talk to you. Call of the troops."

"Rey, stop. It's alight, she has to do this."

They looked up and saw him at the top of the ramp. "I told you to stay inside the ship."

"There's nothing more you can do. It's okay." He walked down the ramp and knelt down with his hands behind his back.

"Ben, it really is you."

"General Organa, we should talk."


	6. Chapter 6

AN: this chapter could have gone a thousand different ways. The first draft had Leia completely refusing to speak to him but I thought he needed a break. After they escape the base I might fluff it up for a while if no one objects. Toydarians are resistant to the jedi mind trick, I extended that to a sort of immunity to a mental force power.

* * *

Rey felt her anxiety rise as she watched a squad of troops run towards them. "General, please, this isn't necessary." Her hand itched for her lightsaber.

"Rey, no. We knew this was going to happen. You need to let this play out." She watched as he was roughly jerked to his feet and shackled.

"Take him to the cell and take her to my office."

She looked at him nervously. "Just cooperate and don't do anything stupid."

"Like I'm the one that would do something stupid."

She smiled slightly and watched as he was pulled in one direction and she was lead in the opposite. She was escorted into an office that was depressingly empty besides a desk in the center with chairs on either side. She sat and waited for several minutes before Leia came in and asked the soldiers to step out.

"I don't even know where to start. Can you clear some things up for me?"

"I found him a few days ago and he agreed to train me. We've been together ever since."

"So he's your prisoner?"

"Not exactly. I took his lightsaber and helmet, but he hasn't been locked up since the first day."

"Do you realize how dangerous that was? He could have killed you."

"But he didn't."

"So you trust him?"

"Tentatively, yes."

"What does he have on you? What did he say to get you to bring him here? Did he threaten you? Hurt you? Whatever it is, he can't do it now."

"He's not doing anything to me. You'll see when you talk to him. He wants to be different now."

"How do you know he's not manipulating you?"

"it's hard to explain. The force lead me to him. It's telling me that he's supposed to be part of my life."

"It's your choice if you want to risk your life, but when you brought him here you put billions of lives in danger."

"Don't you think that if he wanted to hurt the resistance he would have done it before you put the whole base on alert?"

"The fact that he hasn't killed you in the last week doesn't change the things that he's done."

"He's trying to make up for that. The outcome of the war rests on your decision here, don't take it lightly because of your personal feelings."

"Your loyalties will be called into question."

"I'm sorry General, but my loyalties have to lie with him now."

"Do you love him?"

"What?"

"If I wasn't responsible for this base, I could forgive him so easily because I love him. Why do you find it so easy to look past his faults?"

"I don't love him. We're barely even allies."

"So if you're not being manipulated, and you don't love him, why so quick to forgive? And why defend him so strongly? Think about it and get back to me. Dismissed."

She stood up slowly, thoroughly confused. "Can I see him?"

"Not until after I meet with him. But don't worry, you will be updated on every step of his trial."

"So there will be a trial?"

"Presumably. One for you and one for him."

"Me?"

"I doubt anything will come of yours. Don't worry about it until you have to. For now, you're free to go."

* * *

Ren stood shackled, wrists and ankles, to a table, blindfolded and gagged. He had been stripped and searched before being brought into a cell that, from the sounds of it, was surrounded by a force field. He could feel the flapping of small wings, but when he reached out with the force, he couldn't locate the minds of his guards. "The General is requesting you. No funny business." He turned to where the voice was coming from but Still couldn't a read. He nodded and was surprised that instead of being released he heard the wings flap away and a blink in the force field.

"Hello Ben."

His gag and blindfold were removed but he refused to look at her. "Mother. Where's Rey? Is she okay?"

"She's fine. You can see her after I'm done here."

He lifted his eyes to meet hers and they fell into a long silence, looking each other over. "I lied to her. I told her I wasn't nervous to see you."

"You're not alone in that."

"Obviously. Restraints, blindfold, Toydarian guards, your people have more confidence in my abilities than either of my masters ever did."

"What did you expect Ben, you're an enemy of the resistance. What are you doing here?"

"I want to talk to you. ABout the things I've done. About the things I'm going to do."

"We know what you've done. I advise you not to add fuel to the fire."

"You don't know everything. The most recent things, the most important things. I've renounced my ties to the sith, to the first order, to Snoke."

"So you're here to what, join the resistance?"

"I couldn't care less about the resistance. This whole was is being fought by people who are being told what to do, what to think, what to feel."

"We fight the oppression of the first order."

"Your motives may be different, but your methods and ignorance are the same. Do you know what a stormtrooper does in a day? They wake up, eat breakfast, and do their job. Cooks, mechanics, sanitation in 2187's case. In their downtime they play cards, listen to music, they may even have a lover on the base. How is that different from your soldiers? But ask anyone around here and they think that all stormtroopers do is kick children and rip the wings off mynocks."

"They kill without mercy."

"You mean like setting off a chain reaction that destroys an entire base? Do you know how many lives were lost because of that order? Your order. They follow their commanders orders just like your soldiers follow yours. Not everything is black or white, jedi or sith."

"So what's your plan, fight both sides?"

"I'm done fighting. I'm trying to create a third option."

"That stands for what?"

"I'm still working on that."

"And Rey?"

"I didn't plan that, but for some reason she believes in me. We validate each other."

"You need her to tell you you're right."

"No, I need her to tell me there's nothing wrong with me."

"You know, officially I can't believe anything you say."

"And unofficially?"

"You sound just like you used to."

"I'm trying to be different."

"Why now?"

"I've wanted out for a long time, but ever since dad... And then she came along and I saw a chance to escape."

"You're doing this because of your father?"

"I thought that after he died i would find some kind of peace. I thought that the part of me that cared about you and Uncle Luke and anyone else would die too. I thought that the light side would finally give up and leave me alone. But if anything, I feel it stronger than ever."

"Ben. that's not a bad thing."

"Well it hurts like it is. I can't be a jedi and I wont be a sith, so I'm just stuck between these two forces constantly pulling on me. I don't know why you're even speaking to me, but one day you and Rey will wake up and realize what I've done and be disgusted by me. Then I'll be alone in the galaxy, hunted or hated by everyone. I don't want to feel that way mom. How do I make it stop hurting?"

She hugged him as best she could around his restraints. "Ben, look at me, that isn't going to happen. I'm not ignorant to what happened to your father, I know what you did, but I love you in spite of that. And Rey, I think there's more to the two of you than either of you realize. Something different, something special. Don't take her training or her friendship lightly."

"I'm not. She's insane, but I need her."

"When are you leaving?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're not planning to serve out your prison sentence here are you?"

"No, but I didn't think I could tell you that."

"Consider the General off duty."

"We don't really have an escape plan. It was more make it up as you go along."

"Well when you figure it out, come say goodbye first."

"I'll try. Maybe next time we can meet on slightly better terms."

"I hope so. You know your path now, don't doubt yourself."

"I'll try not to. That's easier said than done."

"You'll figure it out. The force will be with you and I'll be here if you ever need anything."

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too Ben. It's good to have you back."


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Been a while. Truth is, I lost confidence in this story. But then something amazing happened, one of my friends e-mailed me a certain well known awful hary potter story. That thing will make anyone feel good about their writing. Anyway, I haven't stopped writing, I just haven't posted in a while. I have seven or eight more chapters written. You guys can decide if you want a chapter storm of all of them or if you would like the rationed out.

* * *

Rey stood up and looked around innocently when the door of the prison opened. The General hid her smile behind a stern look.

"How much of that did you hear?"

"Just bits and pieces. The odd word here and there."

"So, all of it? Eavesdropping isn't polite you know."

"I wasn't, honest. I just thought the two of you might need some help."

"Help?"

"I thought you might need me to run some interference. Your opinion is the only one that matters to him right now. He needed this to go well."

"So you were looking out for him."

"And you. And myself. A selfish part of me wanted to know what it's like to be reunited with family after so long." She looked down and shook her head, trying to clear out that line of thinking. "Anyway, it sounds like you didn't need my help after all."

"You brought him back to me. You brought them both back. Your help is always welcome here."

"While I was listening I figured out why I'm so quick to forgive him, but you probably wont like it."

"Something other than love or manipulation?"

"It's because I hate him. I want him dead. I know that Ben and Kylo Ren are the same person, but when I'm with him I can almost pretend that Kylo Ren is dead. Or better yet, that he never existed. I could forgive anything if it meant that I never had to see that person again."

Leia stared at her for several seconds, her face morphing between several emotions before speaking again. "You can't ever tell him."

"I know, I wont. I just-"

"No you don't know. You're lying to him. Do you have any idea what will happen if he finds out?"

"I haven't lied. I believe in what he's teaching."

"But not in him. You just think he's better than the alternative."

"It's not that I don't care about him, but I'm not going to apologize for being happy that Kylo Ren isn't out there anymore."

"I hope you know what you're doing or we may get something a lot worse than Kylo Ren."

"Yeah, me too" she mumbled, feeling considerably more uneasy than she had a few minutes ago.

"You should go in, he's expecting you."

She nodded and tried to compose herself enough to avoid suspicion. She walked into the room and raised her eyebrows. "Why are you doing that?

"Doing what?"

"That thing with your face."

"Smiling?"

"Is that what that's supposed to be? It looks painful."

"You'll have to forgive me. I'm out of practice."

She chuckled and sat down on the floor in front of the force field. "Are you okay? They didn't hurt you did they?"

"I'll live. What about you, my mother said they might be pressing charges against you."

"I'm not worried about it. We'll both be out of here before our trials anyway, right?"

"Probably, as soon as I come up with an escape plan."

"You don't think we could just fight our way out of here?"

"Letting them cuff me was just a formality, but when you gave away my lightsaber and they put me behind this force field, things got a little trickier."

"So what's the plan, just lay low for a while?"

"A few days maybe. Learning the routine will make things easier."

"What do I do between now and then, collect intel or something?"

"Patience really isn't your strong suit. What did you do last time you were here?"

"You want me to just go on acting like normal?"

"These people aren't our enemies. We are theirs, but they aren't ours, we don't need to spy on them or learn their weaknesses. Don't do anything suspicious and just go about your day."

"Don't you think it's a little optimistic to think they wont move you or interrogate you over the next few days?"

"If you have an escape plan right this second I would love to hear it."

She thought for a minute and sighed in defeat. "You're right."

His eyes widened. "Wow. I never thought I'd see the day."

"Don't let it go to your head"

"Of course not. I'm sure it was painful for you to say" he smiled.

"I still hate you sometimes" she scowled.

"As long as it's not all the time" he said seriously.

She looked up and locked eyes with him. "You have your moments, no matter how fleeting."

His mouth turned up in a small smile of satisfaction and he felt the need to return her half compliment. "As far as padawans go, I could have gotten stuck with a worse one."

She opened her mouth to remind him that that technically wasn't true, but thought better of it and bit her tongue. "Thank you, I appreciate that."

They both realized that if either of them stopped talking, the conversation would immediately turn awkward.

"I've decided that after we get out of here I'm going to teach you how to swim."

"What's a swim?" She hated the look of pity he gave her in response.

"Swimming is like playing in water. It's like a bath, but on a bigger scale. It's fun."

Even after her travels these last few months, some things were still hard for her to comprehend. "Bathing for fun sounds like a waste of moisture."

"Water isn't as scarce on most planets as it is on Jakku. On Kamino for example, it rains so often that cities are built on posts sticking out of the ground because the land has been overrun by water." He could tell by the look on her face that she couldn't quite believe him. He realized that continuing on this line of conversation would eventually lead to her becoming frustrated by her ignorance, and decided that a quick and distracting change of topic was in order. "How is FN-2187?"

She tensed and broke eye contact and he immediately regretted asking. "He's the same as he was when I left."

He tried to glean some hidden meaning from that answer but came up short. "Are you two fighting?"

She jerked her head up quickly to yell at him for his insensitivity when she realized that he honestly didn't know. "No, we're not fighting, he's comatose. He never woke up after Starkiller."

He tensed and let out a heavy sigh. "I'm sure they've scanned his brain, did they find swelling or trauma?"

"He took a hit to the back of the head, but nothing that should cause this kind of long-term damage."

"That's because he's not comatose, he's dormant."

"What does that mean?"

"It's a command conditioned into anyone working with the first order, if the attempt to attack myself or Snoke they will be..nutralized while they are assessed to see if they should be re-eudcated or terminated.

"Can you fix it?"

"I can wake him up, but his conditioning will reset. He will be a stormtrooper again."


End file.
